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The journalists at the Onion News Network will do anything to stay at the top of their game. And if they can't find a great story, they'll create one.
Character :David Bryant
Character :Sam West
Character :Jillian
Character :Ed Musgrove
Character :Helena Zweibel
Character :Cameron Grey
Character :Courtney Carter
Character :Abigail
Character :Daytime News Anchor (as Jodi Applegate-Kay)
Character :Kip O'Rourke
Character :Terrorist
Character :Vivian
Character :Archibald Zweibel
Character :Father Zweibel
Character :Kid
Character :Old Lady
Character :Producer
Character :Kidnapper (uncredited)
